The holidays a wee bit different this year

Two years ago when I'd been first diagnosed I remember wondering if Christmas '15 was my last. Well I'm still here, but without my girl. In December of '15 there was no way anyone thought her cancer was coming back and that she'd run out of time before me. Cancer is just wildly and wickedly unpredictable, sort of like life. This year Brian and Mary Jo are spending Christmas with me. Brian rolled into town early yesterday afternoon. Mary Jo has now spent a month and a half taking care of me. Three months ago she was here for Jeannie.

There's no way you can even begin to repay someone for dedicating that much of their life to you. You can't even begin to start to say thank you. I'm sure they don't want this recognition. They're strictly doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. And while there are definitely others who've been above and beyond the call, there's no doubt in my mind that my sister has been the biggest single reason for my quality of life in my final days. If she knew I was writing this she'd scream. So we'll let her find it after it's posted and too late for her to stop me.

I also have a long list of people who are ready to do whatever is necessary at the drop of a hat. I'm thankful there are so many and grateful that I haven't needed more help. I continue on a pattern of some days are better than others. I've pieced together two good days in a row now. Tomorrow I hope for three, especially since it's Christmas. It's asking a lot but maybe it will be my Christmas present. We've been invited to the home of a life long friend and I'd really like to be able to make it. 

We've gotten a touch of snow tonight. Maybe it'll be enough to give us a white Christmas. We'll see in the morning. But one thing is for sure. Love to all of you. And a Merry Christmas too.