Ouch

I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon Dr. Slam today.  And I found out what an appropriate name that is for her.  While she is sweet and has amazing energy, a delicate touch is not part of her repertoire.  She pushed, pulled and tugged on me and came at me with a horse hypodermic needle poised with the usual doctor phrase…”you won’t feel a thing.”  That was a big fat lie.  I came home and took part of a pain pill, one of the first I’ve had since surgery.  The good news – one of my surgical drains is gone, the bad news I still have the other for at least a week, maybe two. If I'm honest I'll admit she worked me over so I can get it out sooner rather than later. Rose prescribed rest in front of a nice warm fire. She was right!

The surgical pathology report was a little discouraging. I scored an 8/9.  Nine being the worst you can possibly score.  Along with that I had 12 of 16 lymph nodes that were positive for cancer. We’re letting the report sink in for awhile and will follow up with a hundred more doctor appointments/questions.

As usual, the unsung hero in all of this is the Former Boyfriend who is fighting one of the most difficult battles imaginable, sitting there at every appointment watching all of this not being able to do a damn thing.  Smiling all the while helping me get through the appointments and procedures.  He is steady every day making our lives as “normal” as can be possible.

Appointments and more appointments

I had a follow-up doctor’s appointment in Chicago on Monday the 24^th. Fortunately, family friend Charlie was able to take me so the Former Boyfriend could take care of Tillie & Rose and didn’t need to miss work.

It was a 6 hour drive to the CDH Proton Center starting at 6 am.  A 3 ½ hour doctor appointment where they put me in s Styrofoam box, took a bunch of measurements, got me out of the box.  Then they carved up the box, put the box inside of a giant trash bag, covered it with a sheet, put 2 quarts of a strange liquid inside the box and had me lay back down on the sheet.  The liquid made a form of my body that took about 15 minutes.  The liquid was very warm and bubbled up around me so fast that two radiation technicians had to keep repositioning my body to keep everything lined up so that I will be in the perfect position when they hit the Chernobyl button at my upcoming appointments.

Some have wondered why I’m seeking treatment in Chicago instead of here in Columbus.  The answer is multifaceted but primarily I chose Chicago because the treatment is state-of-the-art, only offered in a few cities in the country and Chicago is the closest one for me.  Proton therapy causes much less damage to tissue surrounding the targeted area (immediate and long term), no fatigue as with regular radiation, and hopefully a better all over prognosis.

Thursday morning I meet with the surgeon who did my mastectomy.  It is my first follow-up appointment with her.  For those of you that pray – please pray that I get these nasty surgical drains removed.  They hurt, smell and I just want them gone.

 Every day I’m feeling stronger, a little more mobile, and more like me.  I’m doing laundry, cooking and using my arm fairly well.  I’m doing my exercises several times a day to get the range of motion back in my arm.  This is proving a little more difficult that I thought –but once again if I can get these nasty drains out….

Believe me I do ask for help if I need it and listen to my body and its limits.  I’m being careful not to push too hard because I want to heal quickly and well.

Thanks again for all your prayer

Thanks Mary Jo. Miss you already.

A very special thank you to the Former Boyfriend’s sister Mary Jo.  She came from Virginia the day of surgery after several airport delays and she just left our home this morning.  It’s a sad and quiet day.  I didn’t realize how much I was feeding off of her non-stop energy.

Mary Jo was such a great help…she started the fire every morning before we got up so the house was toasty warm, she did meals, laundry, cleaning and worst of all she helped me with my surgical drains.  They are gross, smelly and no fun at all.  How blessed I am to have a Sister-In –Law that doesn’t bat an eye at such a nasty task.

I’m surrounded by such an amazing group of family and friends, and I feel it.  And it is beautiful.  And I know that it is what is getting me through – helping me heal.

Thank you Mary Jo and everyone.

Recuperation

I’m home recovering from surgery.  By all accounts the surgery went very well.  My anesthesiologist was Dr.  Sleeper. You can’t make this stuff up.  I’m glad the hospital staff told me ahead of time so I didn’t laugh in his face.  He’s very young and apparently very talented.  I was in surgery for less than two hours and awoke with no nausea about 20 minutes after surgery.  His was the last face I saw in the operating room and the first one when I woke up.  He asked me some questions while I was coming to in the recovery room.  I have no idea what those questions were, but it seems that I passed the test.  He was smiling and moved on.

 I did so well in fact the surgeon (Dr. Slam, another great name for a doctor) was going to let me go home the same night as surgery.  The Former Boyfriend and I had just gone through all of the discharge paperwork when the Surgeon walked in to check her work.  Stop, do not pass go…you are staying here overnight. I developed a hematoma and they needed to dissolve it and reduce the swelling.  What a Valentine’s Day buzz kill.  But I must say the entire team at Mount Carmel was friendly, helpful and competent.  We even had carrot cake for our evening meal…a small celebration.  John was so worn down from a lack of sleep that he slept like a baby Friday night in a questionable recliner he nicknamed ol’ blue.

They’ve got me all wrapped up in an ace bandage covered by a tight surgical bra that I wear day and night until the swelling goes down.  The pain has been minor and I am not on any pain medication. John's sister Mary Jo has been here helping around the house with cooking and cleaning and laundry. I might not send her back to Virginia.

Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers, support, love and assistance (for me and for Tillie).  We’re so blessed to have such an amazing community of family and friends.  We can only pay it forward because there is no way to repay the kindness we’ve received.

Tillie's home!

Late last night and around 2:30 this morning we got a couple more calls. Tillie was in the neighborhood where she was spotted late yesterday afternoon. She was barking and howling and carrying on. Of course she'd been ranging between points that were probably two miles apart through some pretty rough terrain. Before giving up for the night the Former Boyfriend bought a large live trap. With the owner’s permission, he set it behind a small farmhouse. John had been insisting the only way we were going to get Tillie back was to trap her, either cornering her in a fenced yard, or with a trap.

After the 2:30 call we weren't getting back to sleep. The woman said her husband went out to try and get Tillie but she ran. She did say that the furry girl was headed toward the area where it turns out that John had set the trap. We ended up going back to the area around an hour later. Rose and I walked about to provide fresh scents. But there was no sign or sound from the freckle faced girl.

Defeated we came home and tossed and turned and tried to get some sleep. By nine we were out the door again, Rose and I to search, John to run some work related errands before rejoining the search. We covered the areas we'd been before but no Tillie. After a bit I told Rose we should check the small farmhouse. And guess who was in the trap. Tillie's six day adventure was over. She’s been typically silent about the details. She lost a touch of weight but shows no sign of injury.

I'll admit I was skeptical of the trap idea. I think a lot of people were. The owner of the farmhouse told me never in his life did he think it would work. Neither did B J, who modified the trap to John's specifications, not to mention hauling it around in his truck to its ultimate destination. But I'm elated the Former Boyfriend was so insistent. My darling little dog will be curled up next to me tonight…Now to try and get some sleep tonight, to be rested for tomorrow.

With vacations like this.......

The Former Boyfriend and I had possibly the worst vacation ever.  I’m not sure why I’ve hit such a skid of bad luck, but it just keeps coming by the bucket full.  We were headed off to Central Florida for fun and sun…life sure gets funny.  Instead we got nothing but rain on our only day there.  No big deal we had a good lunch and checked out a lot of great places inside but then we got THE phone call at 4:00.

Our dear little dog Tillie got away from our friends and they couldn’t find her anywhere.  We stopped what we were doing and headed back to Paul and Deb’s home.  Our goal was to get to Columbus as fast as we could to help with the Tillie search.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t a single flight out of Orlando late Saturday headed north.  The best we could do was 9:00 on Sunday morning.

Our week has been filled with getting up at the crack of dawn to look for Tillie and searching when we get off work until the sun goes down.  We've seen her several times, but we can’t get close enough to get her.  Just to rub it in even more I was shit on by a pterodactyl – it was all over my shoulder and back!

But I must say it’s been hard to believe the amount of help we’ve received from complete strangers.  They’ve been out riding in their cars and stomping through the cold and knee deep snow trying to help us track her down.  There is no way to ever repay the kindness we’ve received – we’ll just have to pay it forward. John says it's cured his cynicism about people.

And then there’s my big surgery day on Friday.  The reality is slowly sinking in and I’ve got a little nervous energy, but mostly I’m exhausted from the Tillie search.  Thursday morning John's sister Mary Jo is coming into town to take care of me for a few days. She’s got her work cut out for her. But the ice storm down south has been constantly changing her flight plans. She'd been hoping to get in today. Then tomorrow morning. Now, we'll see,

 Please pray that we get that beautiful little freckle faced dog back before I go under the knife.  I’m pretty tough but I want a dog on either side of me as I recover.

Between working,  searching for Tillie and taking care of me I hope the Former Boyfriend has some energy left to put up a post or two.  I’m not sure when I’ll be feeling up to it again.

Oh here's a picture of us in the rain in Florida, before the phone call.

Time for a break

I hate being cold.  I’m one of those people who do not have the ability to stay warm and this has been one cold tough winter.  So the Former Boyfriend and I are headed to Central Florida to thaw out for a couple of days.  I can’t wait for sunshine, 70 degrees and the ability to take a nice long walk outside.

It will be a nice break from nonstop doctor’s appointments and hassles with the accompanying nonstop paperwork.  I’m trying to stay positive, but the onslaught of medical bureaucracy really stresses me out.  And I mean it’s really stressed me out.  I’m not sure how people enter the medical industry with no human compassion what so ever.  But enough of that.  Looking forward to fun and sun before next week’s surgery. Maybe we'll post a few pictures.