death inhibitions.

Life is always an adventure. So I've been enjoying the exploration of my final days as well as I possibly can. My last adventure so to speak. At least in life as we know it. I've always known that some people handle death better than others. Some are very comfortable discussing it. Others, you can see on their faces that they'd rather have you pull out their fingernails. Today included a visit from a friend with no death inhibitions (for lack of a better term). It was refreshing to talk with him. Over the course of my life we have made some progress in handling the subject. But we still have a long, long way to go. I probably don't help matters since I'm my normal irreverent self in talking about it. My advice to those of you without immediate departure plans, take your lead from the soon to be departed. You'll find a lot of people are terrified. You might have been the strength they needed just by showing up. Go visit. You'll be glad you did.

Now I may be rambling all over the place here but I can legitimately blame the drugs. Good thing I have my sister here for designated driving. No need to leave too soon. Most of my relief comes from morphine and marijuana. Don't let anyone tell you marijuana has no medical application. I and many others have found it to be superior to pharmaceuticals for pain and nausea relief. But the fact that it's a plant precludes the big pharmaceutical conglomerates from further engorging their already disgusting profit margins. They're doing nothing for the betterment of humankind despite trying to convince you otherwise in their far too plentiful television commercials. Now the morphine they produce certainly is a big help to me. It in turn causes constipation, an ongoing battle in which I currently hold the upper hand. We'll see what tomorrow brings. 

Last but not least I'm still eating, just less and less. I know when the pain steps up it's because the liver is enlarging and taking up more than it's fair share of the abdominal cavity. I have an appetite, just not enough space to support an appetite. But it gives me an excuse to go out in search of a place for lunch each day. Who knows if I linger around too long perhaps I'll start doing restaurant reviews.