Round Five

Next week starts another round of chemo for Johnny.  And while I am truly grateful for treatments developed to keep him alive I can’t get over the cognitive dissonance that I’m allowing total strangers to pump poison into my Husband.  Strangers that refer to him as # 902…  It’s hard to put the thoughts into words. It’s so much harder being on this side – being the patient is actually easier in a lot of ways.  I was naïve enough to believe that we were past living in fear and uncertainty – getting on with our lives after my treatments.

Don’t get me wrong, Johnny is doing well but chemo is just that – poison.  Poison that is causing hair loss, nose bleeds, hoarseness, loss of appetite, constipation, and fatigue.  And he’s going through all this in order to save his life – it’s maddening and totally crazy. We truly  believe the additional things we are doing are making it easier on him. Fasting before treatments, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, exercise and a ketogenic diet.  All things that modern oncology doesn’t seem to show much interest in. His scans are getting closer, for those of you who pray, please say a few for us.  And have a wonderful weekend.

You'd never know from looking at him