Home for the weekend

This week flew by due to the amazing act of affection by Jodie. Her coming to spend some time with me really helped the week move by.  It was the most time we’ve had to spend together since shortly after High School.  But Thursday was another dreary day in Chicago – Jodie headed for home (and her Grand baby Lexi) after the local rush hour which left me waiting for my final treatment so I could go home.

 The staff at the CDH Proton Center came through again moving my Friday appointment to 10:15 am so I could set out for home.  I went to the Center, bags packed, loaded in the trunk and ready to be home but a wreck on I-65 in Indiana added an extra 45 minutes to an hour to the drive home. UGH!!!

I’m not a great traveler.  I always feel a little disoriented, especially now that I’m in Chicago by myself – the first couple of days are the hardest – or when I have to watch someone I love leave.  It’s like being a kid when my parents left me behind.  I just want to be in my comfy familiar surroundings.

However, I just finished reading a breast cancer research report that stated that breast cancer patients who were able to increase their social support during their cancer journey reduced their risk of dying by an incredible 70%.  Strong social support is what matters most whether from friends, family, acquaintances or a spouse.  What the study showed is that receiving love from others helps your body heal. Wow!!

 

I’m learning (slowly) that it’s a privilege for people to give and it’s also a privilege for me to receive.  Thank you all so much for all the support you‘ve given me.  The thoughts calls prayers and cards (like the one below) are truly appreciated.

A Visitor!

Jodie drove in Tuesday morning to keep me company for a couple days and we're having fun checking things out in Chicago (as much as the weather will allow). The Proton Center gave a luncheon tour Tuesday. So Jodie got to see the place and they let her come back and watch the set-up prior to my treatment.

Earlier on Tuesday was a trip to Robert R. McCormick's Cantigny ( ca-tee-née) home. It was about 14 degrees with the lovely wind that Chicago is known for so we didn't spend much time checking out the grounds (there are over 500 acres). But we did see the mansion. (Robert McCormick was  the Chicago Tribune's owner and publisher back in the era of the Great Depression and World War II). The library in the home is filled with first edition books all signed by the authors which included Charles Lindbergh and Winston Churchill. Also on the grounds is the First Division Museum all dedicated to the Army's famed 1st Infantry Division. You're sucked into reenactment displays with sights and sounds and soldier stories so that you feel like you're a member of the "Big Red One." The displays start with the revolutionary war through Desert Storm. They have a tank museum outside featuring tanks from every war, but it was to cold to check out.

Wednesday Jodie and I worked out, went to the Wicked Good Cafe (it really was) and then walked off our lunch in downtown Naperville.  Sometime tomorrow she'll head for home. Some rainy gusty weather is supposed to blow in and she'll try and time her departure accordingly. Hope she has better luck than when she came in. The little spring time dusting of snow made what should have been a four hour ride stretch into six. Having her here has really helped the week blow by. As always, thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

The weekend!

I’m home!  And even if it is only for a couple of days it feels so good.  The kind folks at the Proton Center were able to schedule my daily appointment on Friday at 1:30 instead of 5:30 which is my regular appointment time.  I finished in a little over a half an hour and headed out to DuPage County Air Port.

My cousin Thom was waiting for me with his awesome Piper Dakota plane and we flew back to Columbus.  We hit the ground at Darby Dan just before 6 pm.  I am absolutely LOVING flying back and forth.  Soaring above the clouds is so good for the spirit and having the extra time at home with no exhaustion from driving is a gift from Thom that the Former Boyfriend and I will never be able to repay.

I am settling in to a routine in Chicago.  I’m finding good places to eat, learning my way around Warrenville and Naperville, and the Marriott Residence Inn has a really nice exercise room that I need to take better advantage of next week.  I believe I’m going to have some company this week in Chicago to make the week roll along a little faster and I’m looking forward to that.

My absence has been hard on the Former Boyfriend, Tillie & Rose so I’m doing what I can to make the transition easier for everyone.  Can’t wait for this month of treatment to be over.  Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers.

The Chicago Adventure (round one)

As I write this Jeannie has already had her first treatment at the CDH Proton Center in Chicago (which is is Warrenville). It was great flying weather for March and we're really hoping and praying that we continue to have great flying weather on Mondays and Fridays. So keep those hopes and prayers coming :) Otherwise we're talking about some drive time here.

The flights are provided by Jeannie's cousin Thom and his fast little Piper Cherokee Dakota. It takes about two hours one way, which is way faster than commercial when you take into account the time you'd have wrapped up in driving to airports, going through security, etc. DuPage Airport is an easy drive to the Proton Center. It's a beautiful little airport that beats the pants off flying into Midway or O'Hare. And that we have someone with a plane who is a great pilot and so willing to help. Well, thankful doesn't begin to describe. In the picture below that's Thom in the plane stowing some gear with Jeannie standing outside waiting to climb into the back. (I'm the guy behind the camera).

So now the long weeks begin with us counting the days until the weekend. In all our years together we've never been apart for more than a night at a time, maybe two. We're counting on the benefits far outweighing the sacrifices. I'm still explaining this part to Tillie and Rose, who aren't the least bit amused about their separation from the best human being in the world.

A slight delay

Finally, after a stressful week the Former Boyfriend and I got the call on Friday night at 8 p.m. that I would start treatment at the Proton Center on Tuesday March 18^th at 5:30 p.m.  Not a lot of time for planning – we had an estimated date, but couldn’t put any concrete plans together until we got the call.

 

The CDH Proton Center is amazing.  They start patient treatment times at 6:30a.m. and continue treating patients nonstop until 10:30p.m.  I had hoped for an appointment time between 9 -11a.m.   making travel back and forth easier but 5:30p.m. was the only slot available.  Since protons offer less overall treatment time with minimal side effects, less cosmetic damage compared with the burn marks caused by regular radiation, and it is more accurate and precise than regular radiation and has no effect on energy levels I’m willing to endure the few inconveniences.

And what a difference sunshine makes.  I had my best workout since surgery today.  I even managed to do 20 girl push-ups!!!  I’ll try for more this afternoon.

This weekend I’ll get to work stocking up the fridge for the Former Boyfriend.  Since I met him we’ve never been apart like we will be this next month.  This may be the most challenging part of treatment yet – leaving my life behind for a month.

Thanks again for all the beautiful, loving and encouraging thoughts.  Your words make me smile, help connect me to my strength, reassure me, and restore my faith.  I’ll be posting pictures of my adventure in Chicago.

Chester June 1995 – March 11, 2011

Our hearts were broken three years ago today when we said goodbye to our faithful little black lab Chester.  While he is gone, he is definitely not forgotten.  This week Chester received a phone call from Jan Stoker – checking to make sure he had received his Red-White-and Blue Medicare card.  She left her toll free number and is looking forward to speaking with him soon.  And today in the mail from Physicians Mutual Insurance he received an important Medicare message stating that “You only have this ONE open enrollment period in your life and it ends soon.”

If Chester could speak I think this is what he would say to me and the Former Boyfriend:

Dear Friend,

It is my time to say goodbye.  My legs are weakening, my sight failing, smells are faint.  I am weary.  My spirit is fading, and I have been called home and away from you.

I wish to be strong again, to roll in gross stuff, to snatch greasy bones, to eat all of the things you hated me to eat, to have my belly scratched for all time, to run through the fields and the woods, to smell the stories of life, and to raise my nose to the wind and see the world all over again.

I am going home. I know I leave you in loneliness and pain.  That is the way of people when they say goodbye.  Dogs are different.  We don’t have regrets or wish that we could alter the story of life.

Although I have been called away, I leave you with the memories of our life together.  When you looked at me and the corners of your mouth turned up, you smelled and looked different.  Lighter, happier.  That was my life, my work.  Nothing more clearly defined my purpose.  When you smiled, I knew why I was here.

I never tired of watching you, of being with you while you lived your life.  I sat by your side, entering into the spirit of the moment.  I supported your life, wherever it went, whatever you felt, whatever you did.  I was your witness, your testament.

I remember my heart jumping out of my chest when you came home and called my name, or grabbed a ball, or took me outside, or fed me.  I hope you know that I loved all of those things – And I thank you.

By now, you must know that there is always a goodbye hovering in the shadow of a dog.  We are never here for long, or for long enough.  We were never meant to share all of your life, only to mark its passages.  We come and we go.  We come when we are needed.  We leave when it is time.  Death is necessary.  It defines life.  I will see you again.  I will watch over you.

I will miss standing beside you, bound together on our walk through life, even as I know that there is a long line of others waiting to take my place and stand with you.

Thank you.  It was nothing but a gift.  And finally, I ask these things of you.

Remember me.

Celebrate me.

Grieve for me.

And then, when you can, let me go, freely and in peace.  When you are ready, do me the great honor of bringing another dog into your life, so you can give and receive this gift again.

Dear Friend Letter by:

Jon Katz

Coming Home